my heart's your pin cushion.

WHUSSUP

You know you're lovin it.

I was sitting beside the toilet bowl just now. Not that I had a choice. It was just in case I felt the urge to puke again. It was a lie when I told my parents I puked because the food was weird. I forced myself to. I have no idea why. I thought I overcame this symptom two years ago, but old habits die hard I suppose.

As disgusting as this seems, its true. I was wiping my eyes, you know, when you vomit tears come out. But then I realized I was crying. Positively bawling. I don't know why, it was as if all the memories of the happy times come rushing back. I mean, yeah, I have more happy times now. But I missed the times when I wake up each day looking forward to a new episode of Wild Bunny.

But the truth is that he's gone isn't it...

I would do anything, ANYTHING to see those pink boxers again.
I would do anything, ANYTHING to see his diamond studs again.
I would do anything, ANYTHING to see him asking 'What time is it?' again.

Goodness me, your princess is crying.

I never said Goodbye to him. Not yet. And I'm not going to. I know I'm living in denial, but that's just the best way for me to live on. I know I'm never going to sleep at peace every night, I know things are never going to be the same anymore.

Yet here I am, contradicting myself. I clutching at every single strand of memory there is of him. No one can match up to him, leader of the Wild Bunny force. I tell myself each and every day, "He will come back, I'm sure he will" but hell, no matter how many times I say those words, I know they won't happen. Not in a long run anyway.

Its hard loving him. Its hard forgetting him too.My friends tease and taunt him about me, his fans include me in all their conversations about him. Either way, he can't get out of my life. Never.

I don't have a closing statement to this post, for once. So let's just end with this.

What time is it now? I said, what time is it now?