Honestly, I'm tired.

I'm tired of waiting.
I'm tired of dragging myself through my shitty life.
I'm tired of hoping that the world would be the same again.

But most of all,

I'm just tired.

I mean, yes, I promised to myself that I would wait for him, wait for Jay to come back. But sometimes, promises can't be kept. I can't go on like this. I can't write stories about him just to show that I'm devoted. I've lost some hope, yes, and guess what?

I don't feel guilty.

Its just like something that gets rusty over the years.

You dont realize it until some time later, when it totally loses its shine.

I started waiting because I thought it was the best thing to do.

I'm starting to stop because of the same thing.

Ultimately, this is my life. Not Jay's, not Daniel's, not Lindsey's. I get to own it, run it and control the flow.

One thing my household has an abundance of:

Korean Strawberries.
Dried Mangoes.
Problems.

I'm just so tired of all of this.