I know I know I haven't been updating much as of late. Those two posts below doesn't count because they're not really 'me'. If you know what I mean. Which you don't. I don't know what to say anymore. Honestly, I'm just tired. Each time I turn around, trouble's brewing. Some of them are caused by me, some of them aren't. Ever felt like you just wanna go to sleep without worrying about the next day?

Do you ever treasure those three seconds when you wake up blissfully clueless to the world around you? Before reality seeps into your brains and you're sucked into the whir pool all over again? Well, I do. Those three seconds are what stopped me from .. I don't know. Trying to kill myself by .. doing stuff. I've been treading carefully, afraid. one wrong step, and everything will come tumbling back down.

All over again.

I know, some of you naive ones actually think I'm leading a perfect life. Please, don't ever think that. Don't ever think that I'm some princess who just sits there, lording over everyone else as they face their problems. People forget that I'm a person too.

While they face their family problems,
I'm having a screaming fit with my parents.

While they save up money to buy a new wallet,
I resorted to other ways to get money.

Just so I could show others that I could be a way different person on the outside.

I admit, it was a mistake on my part too. I worked too hard to make sure people think I'm a perfect little bitch, to make sure that others would look at me and say, "I wished I was like her"

I'm just sick of all this shit.

Maybe it's finally time for me to step out of that jaded skin, and just be myself.

truthfully, I don't even know who I am anymore.

I'm serious.